It’s not just you- really it's not

In the world of Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, blow pops,-whatever. Basically, a world immersed in the internet were we tweet, snap, and sometimes overshare I have come to realize something. We are so far removed from being original it brings new meaning to “there’s nothing new under the sun”, or does it o_0? We all scroll past the same post, outfits, and trends on our feeds, and I think people feel they are a part of a community when they mimic these images. Am I making sense? I have traveled across the world and struck up conversations with complete strangers, and we will find a way to connect on some level. Whether it’s about shoes or politics. I have learned the world really isn’t as big as it seems, and people are simply people everywhere you go. There is something freeing about this realization, and I haven’t even touched on my point yet, so let’s get to it.

If we can know and understand that fashion trends, the latest song, and everything else we make small talk about can be enjoyed or a least recognized by others -even strangers- why do we think the emotions we feel or trials we encounter are only happening to us individually? Why do we feel that if we talk about the things that are rattling around in our brains we will somehow be seen as queer or misunderstood? Are you the only person out there with unfulfilled passions or desires? Let me just tell you the answer is no. There are people of all ages who are dealing with this not just us recent graduates. Here’s another question for you. Are you doing anything about it? I have heard so many people say, “I need to get my life together.”

Translation:

Ø  I just closed a huge chapter in my life and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do next.

Ø  I feel an immense amount of pressure to get my life started in, at least, some general direction, but I have no idea what direction that is.

Ø  Life is not how I pictured it would be right now, and I feel like I have failed in some way.

Ø  Wasn’t college supposed to prepare me for…

Ø  I feel alone.

Ø  Everyone else is getting married, getting jobs, traveling, having babies (blah blah) and I’m over here like 0_0

Ø  (insert clap hands) I_have_no_idea_what_I’m_doing…and that scares me-like a lot!

You are not alone. First of all, I have no idea why you ever thought you were alone in this, but I’ve been there. I am there. Every twenty-something has felt some type of way at some point and probably still does. Yes, even the ones who are married, or just had babies, travel all the time, or just landed their dream job right out of college. Life is not solely comprised of these 'milestones' we love to romanticize so much. Don’t get me wrong they are all amazing parts of our stories, but you are missing out on a lot by thinking your life is somehow not together because you have yet to reach some goal you wanted to by a certain age.

 I just graduated college- with a degree I do not want to use. I just moved to NEW YORK- and I live with my grandma (actually she is awesome so it’s pretty great). I do not even have a job to complain about, so there is that. And am I thinking about marriage? No. Why? because I would have to think about it with my invisible boyfriend, and that is just depressing okay. But am I happy right now? Yes. Here is why.

My life- your life- is made up of the choices you make every single day. I am not talking about pivotal moment decisions. Of course, we know those are important. I mean the small things that you may not even realize matter.

You get to decide what thoughts you allow to rest and take up space in your head.

You choose if you are going to wake up a little earlier and work on that side project you have been thinking about for years AND you decide if you are going to take the time to maintain it after it is started.

You get to decide if you are going to have that very difficult conversation you have been avoiding with the people you care about.

You decide if you are going to start talking about the things that have been bottled up and bothering you for years and let the healing process beginning, or let them continue to fester effect other areas of your life.

You get to decide if you are going to move to that new city, town, country, neighborhood, whatever and take a risk.

You get to choose if you are going to speak words of self-love rather than tear yourself down. (yeah self-deprecation is not okay and we all see through your thinly veiled jokes you make about yourself- but that’s another post).

 I decided a long time ago all decisions I make will be made in prayer because I firmly believe God will lead you if you ask Him to. That doesn't make things easier or all rainbows and sunshine, but I do believe it helps me make wiser choices and it is the way I have personally chosen to live. If you haven’t gotten the point here it is in black and white. I will even bold it for you.

No one is responsible for you or how your life turns out. It is between you and the choices you make. (and yes, that includes the decision to pray about your choices or not)

I know. It is a hard pill to swallow. You and me, we have no one to blame. N O B O D Y. Not our environment, not our parents, not even God (he wants the best for you, but best does not mean cupcakes and sprinkles all the time either). You have to understand that you are only victim to what you allow yourself to be victim too. I realize this may be a gross oversimplification, but further explanation would require me to write a book not a blog post. If I know I want to live a life that is dedicated to God, I must discipline myself to pray every day. If I want to lose weight, then I must put down the brownie and pick up the running shoes. And if I want that dream job than I need to research what is required of me to obtain it and get to work.

To my twenty somethings who are going through this weird, complicated and sometimes confusing transition period it’s not just you. It really isn’t. You are not the only person who feels and deals with issues, so you don’t have to hide it. Find someone, I advise older and wiser, you can talk to. How you look at yourself and the words you speak will create the environment you live in, but you get to create it and there is power in that. And yes, you may have to work harder, or wait longer than others that you see, but the grass is not always greener over there. I don’t care what their Insta-feed looks like. Again, I could write a book on this subject and maybe one day I will but for now I will leave you with something my dad told me that has forever impacted my life. “The difference between where you end up in life and where everyone else ends up is not wealth or status. It is what you do with the opportunities given to you.”

 

Always said in love,

Chanty