Life in The City
Life in the city
I spent the last eight years of my life living in South Mississippi. You never truly appreciate something until it’s over (annoying, I know). During my senior year of college, I knew my time would be coming to an end there I just wasn’t sure when. So between studying for classes and work I tried to soak up every bit of sweet tea, bonfire, bless your heart goodness I could, and I made some of the greatest memories of my life.
As of a few weeks ago I moved back to my first home, New York- a dream I know right! As usual I had big plans and maybe not in the way you may think. No, I wasn’t expecting to land my dream job right away. No, I was not thinking prince charming would come out of nowhere and sweep me off of my feet. I didn’t think I would suddenly have this amazing new group of interesting and exciting friends, and besides I already had that in MS. I certainly did not think that any issue I had with myself or the things around me would suddenly disappear because I lived in a new city, so if that’s the story you thought I was about to tell well I’m sorry not sorry. Here’s a new flash for those of you who are just dying to get out of where you are because it’s all you ever know and tbh it’s getting a little stale. I understand the need for adventure and seeing new things probably more than the next person, but travel and adventure do not, let me say that again, DO NOT, solve whatever it is you are trying to run away from. No matter where you are or where you go the person you are always going to run into is yourself.
Now, dealing with oneself and taking an honest look in the mirror is a very hard pill to swallow. It was for me, and honey I’m still chewing on the Flintstone vitamin okay. Here are some very important things I believe God needed me to understand before allowing me to change my surroundings no matter how many times I prayed for change. Not because there was something wrong with what I had I just had this insatiable desire to discover something that was both familiar and new. I’ve never lived in New York as an adult, and it has been quite the culture shock.
The past few years I’ve had to learn to be content, and I mean truly content in my heart and mind with what I had and where I was. Always looking at something, someone, or somewhere else thinking that the grass in greener is not a healthy way to live. The grass is greener where you water it. Things flourish and grow when you take the time to till and nurture the ground you were given.
I’ve also had to learn that things are not always as they seem. Comparison is a scary thing and can be detrimental if you are not careful, and this can go both ways. You can always wish you were like someone else which can cripple your self-esteem, or you can make excuses for yourself by saying “well at least I’m not like so and so.” I cannot tell you how many times people have either written me or said to me “oh I wish I had your life” or “can I be you”, and though these are very nice things for people to say I honestly think to myself, but why? Really, why? You are literally capable of doing the same if not more, but I think people are so quick to say these things because they don’t believe that is true. I don’t know if I’m one of those people who just honestly believed my parents when they said I could do anything. I really believe that even today. I think that if I try my hardest, put forth my best effort, and don’t give up I can achieve whatever I put my mind too. That doesn’t mean I won’t fail maybe even 100 times, but you can believe by time 101 I will have learned a lot and will be glad I didn’t give up if it’s something that I really want. All I am saying is don’t be so quick to cut yourself off at the knees because you think someone is doing something better than you because (1) your perception might be off and (2) you don’t know what that person has gone through or sacrificed to get there.
Probably the most important thing I have had to learn, and am still learning is that anything worth having takes hard work and even more time. That seems to be the hardest part for me, time. I would love to tell you guys that my dreams are coming true left and right over here! Well I believe they are but of course not in the way I expect. As of right now I do not have a job. I’m broke-like really broke y’all. We’re talking my savings account is goooone! I apply to several jobs a day, follow up on the jobs, I even went in person to schedule and interview and no one calls me back. My bills, which I have never in my life even been late on, are now all slowly becoming past due and next month’s bills aren’t going to stop. I have been on several interviews and not one as responded. The list goes on, but all these things that are currently happening don’t mean that I have made some huge mistake they are just apart of my story. Yet, everyday I wake up and know that if I keep trying, don’t crawl under a rock and start feeling sorry for myself, within time things will turn around.
I hope you know that wherever you are in life there’s a season and purpose for everything. I could go on and tell you my sob story because everyone has one and to each person it’s valid. I agree, things do happen in life, but they are meant to show us what we are truly made of. My story in New York is only beginning and it looks like the start is just like any Rom-com/ coming of age tale. You know, that kind we like to binge during holidays.
After all, every heroine needs a few stumbling blocks. Otherwise that’d make for a pretty boring story line, don’t you agree?