While I Wait
I am impatient. As much as I would like to think I have this waiting thing down, I know that somewhere deep inside me sits this toddler who is constantly asking...
Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?
Yup, I see the trees, and they are pretty, but are we there yet? Yes, the clouds and the bright blue sky are amazing to behold. I am so glad I got to see them, but are we there yet? Wow, that mountain was hard to climb, but we made! This is it right, we made it? Oh, no, not yet. Ok, so when?
I figured my last Insta post could count as my content for the week (#lazyIknow), but I just couldn't get away from this thought. Who am I right now, and what am I doing to become the person I dream of being? I could write out a list of my goals and dreams right now, talk about them until I’m blue in the face, and that won’t help me achieve a single one of them. The first part to knowing that I will get to where I want to be is believing that I will get there. I mean really believing. No matter what. If I must stop and look at the trees, when I look back I’ll be glad I did. If I have to climb several mountains, so be it, because when it is all over I’ll realize that each one taught me something along the way. At the end of the day no matter how many twist and turns I may take, if I focus my mind, I will get there.
Life has a way of pushing us, and we often respond in one of two ways. Either slipping into complacency and accepting whatever comes our way or pushing back and fighting for what we want. That little toddler voice in the back of my mind reminds me every day that there is still work to be done. Further to go. More to learn. Some may say that is more of an issue of not being satisfied or content with where I am. Not true. I have learned to be content with what I have and thrive where I am planted while waiting for instructions for what is to come. I am not refereeing to gaining unnecessary material possessions here either. We all have that image in our mind of the person we want to be. The characteristics we want to have, or how we want to inspire ourselves the way others claim you inspire them. Whatever it is that you’re thinking of while you read this, what steps are you taking today to get there? Faith without works is DEAD.
I have this morning routine. I wake up ridiculously early (Like early. I won’t even tell you how early because that is not the point). I look at the top three areas I want to improve in, or the projects I am developing that I need to spend more time on. I make a plan for what task I need to accomplish in those areas the night before, and I work on those goals in the morning. Why do I do this? During the day I leave for work at 8am.Work from 9am-6pm and get home by 7pm. The day is gone and by the time I get home I am beat. The weekend leaves very little time for side work because I have to run all the errands I don’t get to run during the week on the weekend. So, where does that leave time for me to work on other things? For me, it is in those few morning hours I sacrifice some sleep. I put the work in now, so the dream can become a reality. Yes, it is frustrating, because as much as I wish I could devote all my time to what I really want to be doing, for me working 9-6 is a part of my reality (at least for now). It is not an excuse to not work on the things I’ve dreamed of for so long. Whatever your reality looks like, the same rule applies. There is always going to be someone out there doing more with less. I don’t care if your dream is to be the greatest spouse you can be, to be able to look people in the eye while you’re talking or become the CEO of a fortune 500 company. Ask yourself, are doing something every day to get there?
While I wait I remind myself to be patient, with myself. While I wait I will train my mind to focus on what is important and eternal and leave behind the fleeting things that won’t matter. I will remind myself it is the small and consistent things that make the difference. It is not how fast I get there but how I got there. While I wait to check off the big boxes on my list I’ll put in the prayers and steps it is going to take to get me there.