We Need You
Hey Family. It’s been a while since I’ve written on AHT. I have recently become aware of something in my personal life, but also in the lives of those around me. But first I want to talk about Kate. As I am writing this it is 11 pm on June 5th, 2018. This morning on June 5th, 2018 at 10 am Kate Spade, the famous designer, committed suicide. I have no idea what was going on in Ms. Spade's life, or what would have caused her to feel that leaving this Earth before she was intended was that best way to go, but what I do know is that she was thinking about taking her life long before she did it. Reports say that Ms. Spade left a note however the details of that note have not been revealed.
Our nation has shown the spotlight on suicide a lot in recent years. With the deaths of several celebrities, tragic national events, music artist like Logic, even shows like 13 Reasons Why suicide and its prevention has been a prevalent topic these days. Though some feel this has exposed children to thoughts of suicide or even glamorized the idea, I personally would have to say I disagree. Not talking about something doesn’t mean it is not happening.
I can remember people my age talking about this subject when I was in middle school, and it definitely was not a national topic then.
Parents, Teachers, Leaders…
My advice to you, not as a parent or person of authority, but as someone who was a student just a year ago and has seen the stress and pressures that are put on your children today. Whether you can believe it or not, yes many of them do feel not existing is better than having to face what feels impossible each day. Take the time to talk to your child. Don’t ever think- no not my kid, they are fine. Media, school, other influences are constantly berating them, and sorry but you’re not as plugged in as you think. Don’t take offense to that take it for what it is meant for- kids, teens, college students, that have their own world. As much as you may try to shape or dictate what is allowed or not allowed in your home there is always room for things you never intended to slip through. No one lives in a bubble. Have an open conversation where your child feels comfortable enough to tell you anything without the fear of being judged or punished. You can be helping them more than you know. Talk to that college student who seems a bit too stressed or your teen who seems to be handling things, just a little too well. Outward appearances rarely ever reveal the truth.
To those who are struggling…
First, please know this. No matter how dark, or how unbearable you may feel things are right now suicide is not the solution. Please do not make permanent what you are feeling right now. I promise you one of the simplest and most effective things you can do is talk. Talk to someone you trust, and do it right away. What is antagonizing you in your mind does not have to stay inside, because that is how it started didn’t it? Just as a thought, almost like a whisper tempting you, and telling you things will be better. That is a lie! Don’t entertain the thought any longer, because there is no peace on the other side of taking your life. If someone hasn’t told you, let me be the one to say YOU MATTER. You are needed here, and someone is counting on you. I know what it feels like to question if you have a purpose, when things seem so mundane, and it’s like life is just on repeat but you hate the track that’s playing. Please, please, please, you were designed in love by a creator who made you for a purpose and there is healing if you seek Him. Talk, write, scream in your pillow, pray, seek counseling, just let it out. When we internalize things, we are bound to implode. There is zero shame in saying “I need help.” The pressures you may feel to accomplish things, or not fail, how you feel as a person, or what others have said about you do not have to define who you are. You ARE fearfully and wonderfully made!
I said earlier I realized something’s in my personal life and that is just how much we all affect one another. Every decision I make, no matter how small, will have an effect on someone around me either directly or indirectly. Even strangers, who will then affect other people. For example, if one teacher doesn’t show up to work it affects our entire school, thus each student, staff member- the whole day. Just one teacher can change the course of our entire day. Each of us has that ability with our actions. How we treat others, take the time to care for them, and how we respond when life happens to us.
Ms. Spade, a person you would think has everything one would want, wasn’t as happy as people may have previously thought. Like I said, I know she had the thought long before the action came along. I am praying for those who are directly affected and for the Spade family. If you’ve been struggling I urge you to talk to someone, and yes you can reach out to me as well. Remember, we need you here.