Rice & Beans
Rice and Beans
Hands, a bright light, and a quick tap
She is surrounded by strangers all thrilled by her arrival
Cold and confused, it is comfort she seeks
But passed from one nurse to the other she continues to scream
Now in her mother’s arms- finally, something familiar
Her first form of nourishment could not come sooner
Latching on was hard
Once- no
Twice- nuh huh
And the third time was not the charm mom believed it would be
Moms frustration, stemming from pain
She wanted so much for her baby, and had imagined it all
From first steps to first words
First dates, college, marriage, and everything in between
She will be there for it all
Love, support, and wisdom- one day will be passed on
But right now all she has to give was her milk
The baby shrieks
Tears flowing from both their eyes
“Let me help you” mom whispers
“I’ll still protect you,
it’s safe on this side”
Once more they try, with determination and patience
She received what mom had to offer
“I know this feeling,” she thinks
“On this side she's softer”.
Two
No more rooms full of strangers
She is surrounded by family, and the one she calls grandma always has food
Breakfast at grandmas
Lunch at grandmas
Dinner at grandmas-- mom works a lot
She doesn’t mind though, grandma's a great cook
Rice and Beans
Chicken and soup
And the cousins are always around
Seven
She still eats at grandmas
Same table, same food, same step stool used as a chair as her and the cousins crowd around the table
Family, laughter, and a full belly is what grandma is known for
Mom picks her up after work and she tells mom about her day
They both smile and laugh and head home- it is their safe place
Grandma cooked meals, but mom was best at dessert
Homemade Oreo ice cream was their forte
Nine
Now mom decides
“We’re moving to Virginia…”
She can’t believe it, but-but-
“… and ___ will come along”
-Grandma, the cousins, rice and beans
The truck pulls off, and she cry’s as her grandma’s figure becomes smaller in the rear-view window
Now mom cooks all the time
She burns things and calls grandma every day
Two years later- a proposal, a ceremony, and a marriage
They eat dinner at the table each night
A meat, a starch, a vegetable
She looks around at her new family and thinks she could not be happier
Then mom pulls out the Oreo ice cream and her happy heart grows
Eleven
They are whispering and acting strange now
They sit her down on the couch
Their faces serious and stern
“Chantel….”
Her mind races
What could this be?
Am I in trouble –
The dishes: done
Room: clean
Grades: good
She looks up
“We’re having a baby”!
Joy breaks forth on all of their faces
Mom is now huge and can’t stand the smell of her own cooking
She cooks
He cooks
They all eat A LOT of egg rolls
She doesn’t mind though, it is better than pickles
Fourteen
They’re whispering again
But—
Cabinets slam
Looks are exchanged when they think she’s not looking
This time mom sits her down- alone
Same couch, same room
“We’re getting divorced”
Tears break forth on her face, and her perfect world shatters
6 months later
New apartment and a lot of overtime
They eat out a lot less
She hasn’t seen Oreo ice cream in a while, but a lot of rice and beans
Rice and Beans
Rice and Beans
Rice and Beans
But these were different, they were not like grandmas
And no veggies, and no meat
Fifteen
“Were moving to Mississippi”
Same family, new addition
Not a baby, but a husband
They sit around the table and she looks around, but her heart is not in it
She eats a lot of new foods
Gumbo
Sweet Tea
Corn bread
Cat fish
RED beans and rice- they are not grandmas
And her Oreo ice cream has been replaced with bread pudding
She misses the way things were but tries to embrace her new surroundings
Seventeen
Mom kisses her on the forehead and holds back tears
This is the day mom had dreamed and dreaded
She is moved into her dorm
No parents, no rules
She can make all her own decisions
Except for what she eats, the cafeteria has decided that for her
She looks through her options and tries to find something familiar,
She sees, red beans and rice and bread pudding
This is not what she had in mind
Twenty-Two
Two roommates and fully equipped kitchen she takes charge of her meals now
Rice and Beans like grandma and Oreo ice cream like her moms