Preacher Boy

Hey Preacher Boy |

I see you |

Lost | in that room full of people

Deep within the realms of your own mind |

Talking to God

Discussions with your inner self |

S t u c k | between the thoughts

This is my cross to carry    | & | I just want to be set free

Free of the pressures and expectations

Of the limitations that come with other peoples | "grace"

Expectations of a culture you deeply love

| and at times resent

Because it left no space for 

| "me to be me." 

After all, God created me, and at times both the world and the church say there's something wrong with who I'm turning out to be? |

Preacher Boy

I.see.you. |

Doing your best to express yourself within the boundaries of precepts and dogma impersonating doctrine. Never feeling the full satisfaction of fully settling into your own skin, because our world has taught us that anything outside of the "our cultural norm" = sin. |

Willfully digesting whatever you’ve been spoon fed, because that is easier than diving deeply during those seven day intervals. |

Preacher Boy

I see you |

I felt it in my bones, and I shook when you shouted across that pulpit

B E Y E H O L Y | F O R I | A M H O L Y

As you should. Don't get it twisted. | This isn't permission to put down those weights. I know your tired but so was He. So the next time

you feel that crown slipping off of your head

Take refuge, and remember -- you’re not on your own |

Preacher boy

I see you |

You, you bow your head and lift your hands 

Singing |

" I  surren --"

Shouting |

"I SURRENDER--"

Wailing |

" I   S U R R E N D E R   A L L "

I know you mean it. |

Because that rhythmic organ inside your chest | the one that longs after God but also things of the flesh.

After all | you’re human.

At times you sit and you wonder if you would so "casually" sang

| I will be, what you called me to be

If you had known the true cost of what those "lyrics" would mean. The casualties of relationships, and the crucifixion of earthly desires that you labeled as dreams. |

Preacher boy 

I see you |

I'm not looking at you for reasons you may think. You're so distracted with your social A.D.D. As you clench you chest and mumble under your breath.

| but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind

but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind

but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind

Translation

High "functioning" depression (oh I'm not supposed to say that- you thought I couldn't see) | but you, my dear boy aren't f u n c - t i o n -i n g. | I have a feeling it wasn't always this way. Some form of transition may have caused a snap. |

Preacher boy

I see you. |

When I speak | you feel daggers | and for that, I’m so sorry. | The look on your face, so familiar it’s frightening -- yet simultaneously brings me relief (Psalms 23)

" Hal-le-lu-juh i am not alo--"

Preacher Boy. I    s e e you. |

You're anointed | but which king will you be? | Saul or David? QUICK, someone run and grab the harp let's get our preacher boy some relief!

Preacher Boy 

I see you |

Seeing me. | Head tilted | Cocked back, eye squinted | Yeah, that peculiar people, includes me.

Preacher boy

(said simultaneously) 

Don't give up | I see you

Preacher boy

Keep fighting  | I am you

Preacher boy

Dry your eyes | God hears you

Preacher boy | It's time |

Take up your mat | walk |            

&

Preach boy | PREACH!